I happened to find myself in a dilemma some time back and I was in dire need of advice. The problem had been on my mind for weeks and I could not seem to get a solution for it. I decided to confide in a colleague of mine at the office. I chose that lady because she came across as someone who had this kind of aura of problem-solving around her. There were a couple of times when I saw her discuss issues with other colleagues and it was pretty obvious who needed the talking to when you listened into their conversation. I was highly confident that the young lady was an epitome of the "go see" person when one had a problem. She came across as very affable and down to earth. Truth be told, my dilemmas had now doubled because even though I had identified my "counsellor", I had to strategise how I was going to approach her with my issue. In my head I felt she was going to go like "here comes another troubled dude that I need to solve issues on his behalf". I finally gathered some courage and decided to approach her. I met her in the company of other people and I had to join in the conversation. I managed to gather momentum and rapport with her and got her to follow me to a "comfortable" place where I could let my "cat out of the bag". I got her talking so I wanted her to finish her submission so I could begin with mine. Before I could have my day in "court", she suddenly said she had wanted to see me and had something of importance to discuss with me. I was stunned but alert and gave her my rapt attention. She went on to say she had a problem to discuss with me (this was before I could say anything). She said she saw me to be easy going and felt I was in a position to hear her out and offer solutions to her issue. In simple terms, my proverbial "old woman" had turned the table on me. My "warehouse of knowledge" had come crumbling down right in front of my eyes. I was so shell-shocked and for a moment I thought I was rooted to the spot. I think my mouth was wide open but I had suddenly become dumb. I listened to her in awe and finally she asked if I could advice her. I took in a deep breath and the rest is etched in history.
There were lessons I learnt that day that I would like to share. First of all, do not always think that you have a problem that cannot be solved. The fact in reality is that, people have bigger problems. Judging from what this young lady told me, I realized that my "supposed" dilemma was very little of an issue and after hearing her out, I quickly swept my issue under the carpet. I actually found a solution to my dilemma in her problems.
You do not always need to let the world know your problems because sometimes you are better of keeping your problems to yourself than have it roaming in the public domain. When this happens, you would first have to deal with the people who know your problem because they will surely form their own opinion about you and try to offer solutions even though they have no idea of the details of your problem. In the end, you would have to deal with your problem all alone. I pondered over the fact that, why would she say she had wanted to discuss her issue with me in particular? People at the office always say that I am always laughing and that I seem to come across as very happy all the time. Little do they know that I have my own faults and problems to deal with. When this lady "approached" me, she made reference to what my other colleagues always said about me. Fact is, you do not always need to appear miserable because of a problem, sometimes you have no other option but to let the problem be and put on a big smile and just be happy in the moment but harbouring the hopes that everything will surely be fine. Solutions to our problems might not come instantly but they will surely come someway, somehow, so why push it? You might not know who you might be encouraging with your smile. Sometimes all the inspiration another person needs is to see you happy. It is possible, despite our faults, shortcomings and enormous problems to light up the world with our smile . Our appearance alone can be a reference point to someone. It would be very unwise to think that one can live without any sort of problem. Sometimes even life and living it becomes a problem and having problems are sometimes a sign of progress just as speculated by Scott Alexander that "Understand that most problems are a good sign. Problems indicate that progress is being made, wheels are turning, you are moving toward your goals. Beware when you have no problems. Then you have really got a problem. Problems are like landmarks of progress". When next you are faced with a problem, look at it like a temporary situation and know this that, "We have no problems, only situations. Not all problems have solutions, but all situations have outcomes"- (John Edward Gray). My name is Edwin Oko Lamptey and this is a R.A.T (RANDOM AFRICAN THOUGHT)
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