Friday, 20 March 2015


Yesterday was a very sad day for me. I lost almost half of my male friends across all social networks because I "snitched" on them. They all shared the same sentiments that the piece had put the burden of proof on them and that they would have to work harder to prove my synopsis wrong. I wish them luck. I need  my male friends back so ladies, this is war. No hard feelings. So after hours of brainstorming ( it took me just a few minutes to research on male psychology 101 ) and consultation with a few female psychologists, my dear "ex- boyfriends", I proudly present to you the guidebook of all guidebooks, the myth-buster, the whistle-blower and the secrets to understanding the most complex software ever created; the woman. Gentlemen, this is female psychology 505. Yes, 505 because you have to upgrade your brain from 101 to 505 to understand women. Women are moved by words. Women love to hear sweet words and "psalms" about how beautiful they are. So guys please research on oratory and literature before wooing any woman. It works all the time.
When a woman is in love, it is easy to tell, she glows in it. Just a few women really know how to hide their emotions. Every lady is dating till you become her friend and get to know that she told you that just to appear a sort-after damsel. A woman in love would do anything for her man. Sometimes their actions even defy logic. On the contrary if a woman does not love you, dude, do not push it. No amount of money or gimmicks would change her mind. Honore de Balzac captures this in his quote when he remarked that "When women love us, they forgive us everything, even our crimes; when they do not love us, they give us credit for nothing, not even our virtues".
Every lady is a princess no matter her age. Call them that and half of your job is done. It is true that women crave care, attention and love but it is also true that they want their men to put them in check and help them  build their lives. They say that if a woman tells you her problems it means she trusts you but it is also true that any woman who shares her issues with you is likely to share her heart also with you and expects you to have a share of the problems. Women are the most controversial and contradictory among all creatures. They say they are fine when they know they are not. They do not want to fall in love yet they do over and over again. Dave Barry simplified my research when he noted, "What Women Want: To be loved, to be listened to, to be desired, to be respected, to be needed, to be trusted, and sometimes, just to be held. The world is run by women. All decisions that are taken are influenced by women. Most women do not really care about their looks when they are with someone they cherish. Most women have this idea of dating tall guys ( I do not really know the reason). Before a girl turns 16, she already has her dream husband in mind. The truth of the matter is just a few women get to marry their "dream boyfriends". The happiest day of a woman's life is her wedding day so guys, please live up to the hype and do not dare mess it up. Women have more fantasies than men. If a woman tells you "it is ok", do not take it lightly because anything you say or do would surely be used against you. Women are jealous. Please if you are in public with her, make sure you are just stealing glances at the other pretty women. Do not lose your focus because she sees everything. Women do not see competition in other women, their competition is with what that other woman is wearing. Whatever her friends think of her man rarely moves her and if she can tolerate your most annoying tendencies, she is prepared to spend the rest of her life with you. All women are two-faced no matter how meek they may appear. She can be your muse or cause of abuse; your heaven on earth and the painful other. She can be both your delight and terror. Women are fragile and should be carried like a crate of eggs; even the "rowdy" ones are capable of incomprehensible emotions when the right buttons are pushed. Women are epitomes of courage, serenity, emotions and unmatched love for all persons and should be marked  "Handle with care because the contents are highly inflammable or satisfying, you decide which comes out". This is Edwin Oko Lamptey. This is a RANDOM  AFRICAN THOUGHT and my WikiLeaks version of the WOMAN. More @

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